My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i now understand why vodka
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
