i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
