38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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