The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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