He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
