Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
