Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize