the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
