He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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