8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize