One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
