I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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