I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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