soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
