I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
