I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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