grandma shit on top of the toilet
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
