..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
