What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
