The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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