I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
