Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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