I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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