I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
