He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
