I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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