Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
