What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
