marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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