SEEEEXXX PLEASE
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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