Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
