On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
