literally had 100 drinks last night.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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