So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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