Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
