I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I cut my penus on the lid.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
