Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
