Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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