I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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