I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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