I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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