I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sext me about skeletons
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
