So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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