In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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