Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
