You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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