i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
