dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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