Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
