when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
